Psalm 139

Verses 1-6
O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, You know it all.
The Lord is so intimately acquainted with us, he knows everything about us, even the little details we don’t know about us. The Bible says that he knows the number of hairs on our heads. Such detail is unattainable by anyone else, except God. Of course, he would know our innermost thoughts. The ones we hide and wonder if He knows. He knows it.
Verses 7-12
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?  If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night, even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.
He is everywhere we are. We cannot escape Him. He covers everything, including the darkest part of the sea. That gives me comfort. My biggest fear is to die in the sea. But God covers even the deepest, darkest part of the sea. Verse 12 says darkness and light are alike to Him. We can’t see, we fear, yet God sees, and gives us comfort and security. There is nowhere we can go that we are not covered by God.
Verses 13-16
For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When i was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
Not only does the Lord know our comings and goings, is intimately acquainted with us to the point that he knows every thought, He was the the one who formed us. Who knows every single little detail about us. Who planned out our days and before we were even formed. We were formed in the womb by God. It’s amazing to think of such a HUGE God, yet so incredibly detailed. When you think about it, there is nothing that we need to be worried about. Nothing in the future, nothing about our past, nothing. Because every single detail is already known by God. It gives us more security to really trust in this detailed God, because He is there and knows the future. And not just the future, but the tiny details of the future. Us, in our finite minds, can only see directly in front of us. But God, who is detailed with us, is detailed with every other little thing, life, human on this earth. It’s amazing and incomprehensible to imagine, how it all works, but that is why HE is GOD.
Verses 17-24
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You. O that You would slay the wicked, O God; Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed. For they speak against You wickedly, and Your enemies take Your name in vain. Do I not hate those who hate You, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with the utmost hatred; They have become my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting.
The interesting thing I gather here, is that, while David knows and understands just how vast, but how close God is to him, he is still worried about these men. It is very natural for us to worry. It’s a sinful thing to do, but as humans, because we just can’t see, and because the enemy is attacking us, we worry. David just laid out this beautiful depiction of the Lord, but then comes back to these men who are after him. It’s almost like he’s trying to assure God that he’s doing right, by hating these men, and not having anything to do with them, so God, just take these men away. In our despair, and in our times of trials, we learn to cling to God, to learn more about Him and His character. We see His patience, and His kindness, His sovereignty and His holiness in not tolerating any sin. We tend not to cling to God so much in happier times. Our characters are strengthened, we learn perseverance, and we mature in hard times. Whether it be consequences from our sins, or hard times that come suddenly and without obvious reason, like with Job, The Lord does not take away these hard times from us when we want them do, and He does this so that we can be disciplined and refined. However, at the same time, He is in complete control. Even Satan had to ask permission from God to strike Job’s household. Nothing passes through without the consent of God. So even in our trials, while we may fear, and be anxious, we should be assured that the Lord is in control, and is using these times for our good. Every detail of this trial is in God’s hands. Details we don’t see. Huge reassurance.


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The Thirsting Soul Satisfied in God

Psalm 63:1
O God, You are my God, I shall seek you earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You. In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
This is powerful. Right now, I feel as though I live in such an environment. I have no desire to continue on in this place, yet I still am here. So the only thing I need to do is to seek the Lord, and let Him live through my life. When I pursue earthly pleasures, I get disappointed. They are fun for a little while, but nothing takes the place of the Lord. He is the only one who can fulfill every single thing that I need. Things I don’t even know that I need. So while i search for water and for nourishment in this land, I am missing the true water and nourishment. The true joy and completeness. All I need is the Lord, and He will fulfill me. I pray that my flesh will yearn for the Lord. Right now, my flesh yearns for earthly pleasures. Music, books that are depraved, companionship. These are all temporary things that may lead to destruction. But the Lord is forever, and passes even after death. I pray that my flesh will truly yearn for Him, and I’ll know what that feels like.
3 – Because your loving kindness is better than life.
Wow. What a phrase. At this point in time, it’s not hard to imagine that. Life has bitterly failed me. But The Lord’s loving kindness would be what keeps us. It’s better than life. Better than anything we could ever imagine. This is all I have left, the pleasures of life are dull compared to the loving kindness of the Lord.
5 – My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness..
To imagine that. To be physically hungry, but to be spiritually full. The Lord is good.
6 – When I remember you on my bed, I meditate on you in the night watches. For You have been my help. And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You, Your right hand upholds me.
To rely so much on the Lord that He even takes the place of sleep. You are meditated on in the night. King David hid in your wings, he clung to you with his soul, You upheld him. He couldn’t do life without You. Literally. That’s the type of dependency I want to have. Where my soul feels empty without you, and physical needs are only met with God. I hide in my God, and sing praises to you. You lift me up, and give me strength.

Psalm 139

The first few phrases of this chapter:
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay you hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
I was just talking to my mom the other day about this. The Lord, He is the God of the universe. The universe is too vast and big for us to even really imagine. We don’t compare at all in size, the world is a little microscopic dot before we even get to the milky way galaxy. Yet the LORD KNOWS us. Us little people who barely make up a piece of dust on the earth. WHO else can say this? Who is else is as amazing as my GOD is?? No other can claim this. NOBODY can ever, ever, ever come close. Yet the Lord knows us. He knows everything there is to know about everyone. About me. He knows me more than I’ll ever know myself. He’s directed my path. He sees me everyday, and He’s with me. Before a word is on my tongue!!! He knows it completely. Before the thought is even formed in my mind! He’s got me completely surrounded behind and before. How can I even think of worrying? It’s an insult to God to worry. Instead of simply asking, instead of letting Him show me, I sit and worry. I sit and wonder, and say where are you God?? I see only directly in front of me, but God knows my life. Not just the big steps, but the miniscule details. I can’t even begin to really comprehend how it all works, I only know what I know, and only believe in what I see. But if the Lord says to trust HIM, I need to do that. There is NOTHING other than HIM that I need to put my trust in. I don’t need to work through the details, I need to trust HIM. When it comes to marriage, that’s the one thing I want control over. I want to know what is going to happen, when, who, where… But God has yet to give me this knowledge. Of course, I have my ideas, and who I want, but at the same time, I spend a lot of time going over the details, and trying to justify why this person would work, why this person would not work, etc. I don’t need to do any of this!!!! All I need to do is spend my time PRAISING GOD!!! Thanking HIM for giving me the opportunity to receive His gift. Dwelling on HIM. Taking HIM at HIS word. Trusting HIM. Not concerned about anything else in this world but pleasing HIM. THANK YOU LORD.
I’m so happy and convicted at this little bit of the passage, but I will continue with the rest.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light will become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
The Lord is everywhere! There is no place that I can run to to escape from HIM. It’s crazy to think about because of how vast the universe is. We think we sin in secret, but no, the Lord sees everything we do. He knows our sinful thoughts as well. This can be applied to also feeling secure in life. The Lord goes with us everywhere we go. There is nowhere that we can’t go that He won’t be there. So in regards to wondering about where I will be when it comes to marriage, the Lord will be in the midst. So if the Lord surrounds me, how am I to worry or even think about worrying about what will happen in the future? I’ve been getting a lot of messages of simply sitting back and doing nothing. All I need to do is present my requests to him. I don’t need to plan out my life and figure out what I’m going to do with it. I just need to use the resources I have now, and work with that.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand – when I awake, I am still with you.
Amazing. To think. Not only is God with me, but he created every single miniscule part of me. ordained my days. I of course don’t remember being made. But He did. He remembers every single detail. And not just of me, but of EVERYONE and EVERYTHING that was created. How incredible!!! How amazing!! I can’t even fathom! We cry out to God to ask Him where is He when we don’t get what we want. But HE’s HERE!! He’s here in such an all consuming way, that to ask Him where He is is ludicrous! He’s in the crevices and places that I don’t even think about! Going ahead of me, preparing a way. Cleaning up my messes. Directing my every single step. Working out the details. Down to the seconds and nanoseconds. I have no choice but to trust HIM! I can’t trust in anything else, because He’s in those details as well! He’s the one orchestrating everything. He’s even in control of the bad things that happen. So why put my trust in a situation? In a feeling? In someone random? Why not put my trust in GOD? Who is behind everything in this world? He is being so thorough even in this minute with this passage I happened to stumble upon. This is awesome. I’m so encouraged.
If only you, God would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Even knowing all of this, David was still worried about the wicked and wished the Lord would get rid of them. It’s natural to want bad things to go away. But God was in control of that situation. Were it not for the bad things to happen, David would not have written the Psalms. We would not have been able to learn from his dealings and inner emotions. Everything works for the good of those who love HIM. He’s still here, even when we feel alone, and feel like He’s thrown us to the wolves. Even when we make mistakes, even when we get angry at Him. He’s always there. He knows us and every situation we will encounter. Oh I feel like I’m on the clouds, I’m so light, I’m so happy, and just so in awe. I wish I could retain this feeling forever. I can’t wait until he comes back!