You were listening

God, you are amazing. You were listening to my prayer yesterday. To every word, and you brought me comfort and responses today. First in the car this morning. I turned on the radio and heard the pastor say that God does not make people just to exist, there is purpose in each life that you create. The message had to do with abortion, but what you allowed me to hear was perfect timing. It was what I had said yesterday, that I felt like I was just existing.

Then the posting from Shawn, So God told you he is your Husband. LITERALLY on the same track I was JUST on. I remember writing that I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone, because I would have felt dumb. But you encouraged me, with reading stories that were EXACTLY the same, same thought process although potentially not the exact same stories. You specifically spoke to my situation, and that was what I had been wanting. I told you I would trust you yesterday, before all this happened, partly because I knew I needed to, but also because I wanted to, and wanted to see what would happened. This has been greatly encouraging, and amazing. Thank you God for listening and responding in the best way possible, and while I didn’t get the answer I wanted, I got the encouragement I needed to keep going. I want to continue to develop my relationship with you. In this moment, I’ll say I don’t need a man, because I’m full right now. Who knows literally 5 minutes from now. Literally. But I’m going to continue to trust You and see what you do with that.

I was also encouraged from reading in Exodus, seeing how you led the Israelites out, but led them three days without water or food. Getting them to trust you and you completely. I really want to do that. It’s hard for me, but I need to trust you with what YOU do, not what I want you to do. I wouldn’t be happy going three days without food or water, that would be a clear sign that this is not right. But your ways are not our ways. You provided their daily bread. You provided water out of bad water. You can provide literally everything we need. We don’t need to rely on material things or other people, we need to rely on you. And trust that you are MUCH bigger than our circumstances, and if we just call out to you, you will answer.

I believe this wholeheartedly. At least in this moment. I want to keep believing at time goes on, but this will be my journey. You know better what will happen. I just need to trust you, and try to not lose that trust. But know that this is your plan if I happen to lose it. You’ll bring me back.

Thank you Lord.


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