The more I work here, the more I realize this job is not for me. I’m an artist and I need to be creating! I don’t enjoy this 9-5 stuff, I’m being limited, and being put in a box, in a mold that I don’t want to be put in. I don’t thrive in this environment. Maybe that’s why I’m depressed everyday, and why I feel like I have no purpose. I have no purpose here, besides to do the admin stuff they could be doing themselves.
I’m meant to do much more. I was given a talent, I need to use it. I’ll be much better mentally, emotionally, physically. I need to create music, express myself the way I was meant to, and live the way I was supposed to! The Lord didn’t give me this talent for nothing!
It’s crazy that I would think to carve out a future in any other realm than the one I was meant to be in.
Why would I go against what the Lord has meant for me to do?
To follow the world? The world doesn’t even follow the world. It follows the person that carves out the path, then when someone else carves out a different path, it will follow that. It follows the person with confidence. It follows the person who knows what they want in life, not the person who has no idea. It follows whatever seems right to another person. There is no set way to do anything on this earth, only ideas made up by people. I wanna sing? I can do it! I live as though this is what I’m doing, the rest of the world will catch up to me. I live as though this is something I carved for myself, the rest of the world will attach themselves. People are leeches, they need to cling to something to solidify their happiness or self-worth. I was living like this for a long time, clinging to the “average” way to do things, but I don’t need to do this. I can carve any future I want, as long as it’s in the Lord’s plans. There is no such thing as impossible. Nothing is impossible with God. There is only no, and when no happens, you just take another route. No man can stop you from doing what you want. You get a no from an exec who has money? Forget them… carve your own way! There is nothing can stop you. Impossible is relative.
I think currently, I’m on a path that isn’t necessarily good for me, because I’m listening to a lot of bad music, but I need some type of outlet. I’m stressed.